RATING GUIDE:
5 – A keeper!
4 – Very good
3 – Passable
2 – I’d rather read
a telephone book
1 – An absolute bomb.
Read at your own risk!
0 – Nothing will compensate for what I lost reading this
book
Just when you think that “Fifty
Shades of Gray” is the worst book you’ve ever read, here comes Jodi Ellen
Malpas’ “This Man” trilogy, this horrible, horrible book that is a plague on
one’s brain, body and soul. If this
were a natural disaster, this trilogy would be the equivalent of
Yolanda/Haiyan, a disaster of epic proportions!
This total waste of money, time
and energy (you can pay me all the money in the world and it still would not
compensate for that part of my life that was wasted on this crap) is the story
of Ava, a twenty-something interior designer who gets chosen to work on a posh
place called The Manor. Ava wonders why
she even got chosen for the project, since designing for posh places isn’t
really her specialty … but then she stops caring when she meets who her client
is. Her client’s name is Jesse Ward, a
man who’s so gorgeous she likens him to God, a man so sexy that his voice is
enough to make her wet and orgasmic.
Soon, Ava finds herself doing something else other than decorating …
instead, she finds herself doing Jesse over and over and over …
But Ava has just broken up with
her boyfriend, and a serious relationship is the farthest thing from her
mind. Yet, she can’t get enough of
Jesse --- the sex is sooooo good and in abundance … even if all signs point to
him being a controlling, domineering bastard.
Now as a rule, I don’t like
bashing any author’s work. Most of the
time, I find something good in any book and very rarely do I come out and say
something negative. However, I can’t
lie about what I feel about this book.
I hate it.
At first, I thought this was
going to be the British version of “Fifty Shades of Gray” (as if that wasn’t
bad enough)… I was wrong. Despite its
attempts (planned or otherwise) to copy elements of E.L. James’ trilogy,
unfortunately, “This Man” didn’t even make it to “second rate, trying hard
copycat” status. I can’t believe I’m
saying this, but “Fifty Shades of Gray” seems like that erotica classic “Delta
of Venus” compared to this.
Though Malpas’ Ava is supposedly
in her twenties, and earning her own keep, she seems very immature at times
(not to mention bigoted --- just read her reaction to John, one of the
characters in the book). For one, I
can’t imagine anyone in her twenties jeopardizing her reputation at work and
risking another heartbreak simply because of a guy who looks like God --- take
note, not even a god … but God with a capital “G”! And a Lord (with a capital “L”!) and a penis that can puncture
any woman’s womb (yes, ladies, he’s that BIG and LONG). To have unprotected sex with a man you know
very little about, who uses his money and power to keep you at his beck and
call at all times, who tells you to watch your mouth all the time, and uses sex
to punish you or get his way … if Ava is a representative of today’s generation
of young women, then I’ll be very afraid for the future of this world.
As for Jesse Ward, don’t be
fooled by his looks and his sexual prowess.
Don’t be fooled by his tortured past.
He is a monster. Run for the
hills!
Malpas’ writing isn’t that hot,
either. My English isn’t perfect, and
yet I spotted quite a number of errors.
The characters have no depth (even if there is obviously an attempt to
make them more than cardboard characters), it’s very difficult to empathize
with them and they’re very unlikable.
As for the story … there is no story.
As for the sex scenes, which
supposedly form the meat of this trilogy … if you’re looking for smutty
material, there’s an abundance of that here.
But if you were to ask me if they’re hot and exciting … sorry, but I
found the sex scenes repetitive and boring.
Same venue, same style (I wonder if the author just cut and pasted the
sexy bits all throughout the book), very, very mechanical. If you’re looking for happy erotica, maybe
you’re better off with “Fifty Shades”.
I’m sorry, but this book was so
bad in my view that I had to create a new level of low just for it. I hope the publishers would be more
discriminating in the kind of books they offer their readers in the
future. Just because it’s all sex
doesn’t mean it’s all good.
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