NORA ROBERTS’ “WHISKEY BEACH”: SURPRISINGLY FLAT AND DISAPPOINTING

 

RATING GUIDE:

 

5 – A keeper!   

4 – Very good

3 –  Passable

2 –  I’d rather read a telephone book

1 – An absolute bomb.  Read at your own risk!

Whiskey Beach is one of the latest creations of highly popular and prolific author Nora Roberts.  It is the story of Eli, a handsome, athletic and successful lawyer in Boston who is tormented by his past.  Though technically a free man, Eli still lives with the trauma and stigma of being a suspect in his own wife’s murder.  In an attempt to escape his old life, Eli returns to Bluff House, the house of his childhood.  There he meets his grandmother’s friend, Abra, who, despite her sunny disposition, also has an equally bleak past.  Eli finds himself drawn to Abra, but will he open his heart to another woman, considering that the people around him, still think of him as a criminal? 

I can’t claim to be a fan of Nora Roberts, though I can definitely say that I enjoyed her Stanislaski book series.  Nora Roberts definitely knows how to craft a story and bring characters to life … which is why I’m stumped by this book. 

A very good, wise editor once told me that there are books that are well-written and yet fail to capture the hearts and minds of the author’s readers, and there are those that are just plain awful and yet end up as bestsellers and classics because they move the reader.  In my opinion, Whiskey Beach is, unfortunately, one of the former.

For some reason, Whiskey Beach just feels … off.  I get the feeling that this was supposed to be one of Nora Roberts’ good old, traditional romances … until some wise guy stepped in and decided this story had to be updated for the 21^st century.  I can actually imagine this wise guy telling Nora Roberts, Make your hero more vulnerable!  Make your heroine a strong, modern woman!  Add some sex to spice things up!  Make the heroine sexually aggressive to reflect the times!  Add some action to make it unusual!  Add a pirate back story to make it unique!  So Miss Roberts obliges this wise guy … and we are given this … literary soup that’s supposed to be wonderful and memorable … but isn’t.  I hate to say this, but Whiskey Beach is a surprisingly flat and disappointing read.

To her credit, some of the characters in Whiskey Beach are interesting and likable and real, and it’s not hard to fall in love with some of them … like Eli, who’s only barely keeping it together, following the death of his wife.  (You know the type:  Gorgeous Man Suffering In Silence).  But you know you’ve got a problem when you can’t connect with the heroine.  I’m sorry, but despite Abra’s harrowing past and her (supposedly) admirable qualities, I just couldn’t relate to her.  In fact, I couldn’t stand her. 

I think it’s because Abra just seems so … manufactured and fake.  Like Nora Roberts decided to tack on every attribute every woman wants to this character.  Is there really anyone out there who’s like this woman?  Beautiful, brainy, pliable (for she’s a yoga instructor), a whiz at business AND baking AND cooking AND yoga AND sex … it’s hard to relate to a character that just seems so perfect and unreal.

As for the relationship between Eli and Abra … I know this was supposed to be a romantic story, a story about second chances, about two people helping each other heal their wounded past.  Unfortunately, the relationship between Eli and Abra feels more like a relationship of convenience and a rebound relationship to me.  It’s as if Eli is forced to fall in love with Abra, because there’s no one else around … and anyway, she’s the one who looks after him and takes care of him … and she looks good and is good in bed and obviously likes him (based on the innumerable Post-It notes she leaves all around the house for him) … Gee, Eli, you’re not looking for love.  You’re looking for a nanny-f**k buddy.  That’s pretty juvenile, and quite frankly, it’s a turn-off.  As for Abra … the best word to describe her would be “emasculating”.  She’s one cookie/yoga pose away from turning into that terrifying character Kathy Bates portrayed in “Misery”.  I know she’s beautiful and successful and quirky and perfect and good in bed, but men … RUN FOR THE HILLS!

Although the murder-mystery aspect of the book seemed awkward, it did seem interesting in the beginning … however, its resolution just felt so contrived and unsatisfying.  Very telenovela-ish that the actual criminal was someone “very close” to Eli’s family.  I would’ve preferred this portion of the book to contain more twists and surprises, and definitely more action (I would have loved it had Eli showed he was brains AND brawn).

Not one of Nora Roberts’ finest.

RATING:  3