RATING GUIDE:
5 – A keeper!
4 – Very good
3 – Passable
2 – I’d rather read a telephone book
1 – An absolute bomb. Read at your own risk!
I know I didn’t exactly relish the experience of reading Fifty Shades of Grey, but I still went ahead and read the second book in EL James’ highly controversial trilogy. I can only compare the experience to believing the campaign promises of a politician who’s running for office: there’s a part of you that knows you’re going to be screwed, one way or another. But blame it on my hopeless sense of optimism (you know the boat is sinking and yet you refuse to jump off), my stubborn nature, or simply my curiosity. Really, is there anyone out there who can refuse the call of a cliff-hanger? I can’t. And so, armed with a glass of water and Biogesic, I got back into the extremely warped world of Anastacia (then-clueless-virgin-now-poster-child-for-the-walking-orgasm) and her Perfect Man (or so it seems), Christian.
The last time author EL James left her characters, Anastacia (or Ana) had just broken up with Christian. Fifty Shades Darker opens with Christian’s nightmare, a scene that actually made me think, Hmm! Angst! Promising! That very promising scene of angst is quickly followed by Ana doing what every girl does when she has just broken up with her man (act like a total wreck). For a moment, I actually had high hopes that I’d get to see how these two would try to get through life without each other … but alas, my hopes were dashed very, very quickly. Christian visits Ana, and before you can say “Holy fuck!” (one of Ana’s favorite phrases), they’re back in each other’s arms and … well, into each other’s nether parts. Ho-hum.
But wait, there’s more! Apparently, an excessive amount of sex can totally wipe out one’s personality. In this book, the formerly shy-in-bed Ana has been replaced by her frequently foul-mouthed, outspoken, sexually aggressive evil twin. She’s so sexually “on” that you begin to wonder, could this girl be a sex addict? A mere look from her beloved Christian sends her vagina goes into orgasmic spasms. Really. To use her new catchphrase … Holy motherfuck! It’s a wonder she actually gets any work done. Well, apparently, she does … in between being wined, dined and shagged by Christian, she works as an editor’s assistant in a publishing house that, oh, yes, has actually been bought by Christian for her, supposedly to “protect” her.
Ana tries to fight against Christian’s extremely manipulative, controlling ways … and I’m reluctant to use the word “tries,” because, to be honest, it doesn’t really seem that way. Why try, when every woman in town is ogling YOUR man. Why try, when he’s feeding you gourmet food and buying you expensive things (like a CAR!), and, oh, your very own publishing company, and giving you mind-blowing --- NO, SCREAMING! --- orgasms? Never mind that this very same man treats you like an object, practically controls your every move and subjects you to his frightening mood swings.
Thankfully, this is fiction, and so the very man that in real life should send every woman running to the hills, actually transforms into something that resembles, oh, an actual human. It is in this book that the readers begin to understand why Christian is, to use his words, “fifty shades fucked-up”. Finally, something to latch on to, emotionally and intellectually!
The weird thing about this book is, as repetitive and boring the sex scenes are, as infuriating Ana and Christian are, there’s still a tiny part of you that wants them to overcome their difficulties and have their happy ending. To the Fifty Shades fans, this book delivers just that, even though it’s slightly over-the-top-cheesy for me, just like their flirtatious e-mail exchanges. I am a hopeless romantic, but honestly, their e-mail exchanges make me cringe.
One improvement that can be observed from the first book is EL James’ characterization. I’m not saying that her characterization is good, to me, it’s still very flawed and lacking in credibility. For example, there’s way in hell one would believe that Ana is capable of being an editor’s assistant in a publishing house, just because the word “avuncular” is part of her vocabulary. There’s hardly any mention of Ana’s life outside her life with Christian (blame it on all of the sex scenes), and so imagining Ana as an actual person is pretty difficult. The same can be said of Christian’s characterization. However, EL James manages to paint a fairly good picture of Christian’s past and his vulnerabilities, that he actually becomes real in the reader’s imagination. Unfortunately, the effort EL James put into developing Christian didn’t quite extend to Anastacia’s character. Her transformation from clueless virgin to foul-mouthed woman on top just doesn’t make me see her as a sensual, modern woman … she just seems, well, horny.
Fifty Shades Darker continues to be a sextravaganza of epic proportions, though, in my view, it’s not the numerous sex scenes that gives it merit, but the revelations in Christian’s tortured character. It’s actually a surprisingly poignant moment when Christian reveals what’s truly in his heart and assumes the submissive position, all for fear that Ana would leave him. In my opinion, it is that scene, and the other moments when Christian shows his heart, that are the best moments in the story. When Christian tries to compromise with Ana, or when he lets his guard down and allows himself to be touched before they make love --- to me, these are actually the moments that grab one’s heart and attention. As opposed to the many, many moments when Christian (pardon the expression) fucks her senseless. I didn’t even react when Christian had sex with Ana over the pool table, or when he gave her a hand job while they were stuck in a crowded elevator … although I did wonder, wouldn’t anyone notice that while it’s happening? Which probably proves that too much of anything --- including sex --- isn’t really a good thing.
Overall, Fifty Shades Darker is a slight improvement over Fifty Shades of Grey. If you’re into reading sex, sex, sex with angst and cheese, LOTS of cheese, then this is the book for you.
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